Loving two people

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A friend of mine had a terrible dilemma a while ago. He loved his wife of ten years, was head-over-heels in love with his mistress of one and a half years and could not decide what he wanted to do with his life. In the meantime, he got off with yet another woman a couple of times and made things even more complicated for himself. FInally his mistress split up with him, telling him that she wanted him for herself and could not stand the situation as it was. This sent him over the edge. However, he could still not decide as to whether he wanted to leave his wife and be with his mistress not. The problem was that he loved both women only in different ways. On some ways he wanted both, and yet he did not. His days went by in quiet despair as he shifted between ideas of leaving his wife for his mistress and staying with his wife and having some kids with her. Days were hard and nights were agony, as he strived to make his decision. I don't know what happened or much else about the situation, but a story like this does make you wonder. Did this man love both women or was the wife the security and homeliness in his life, while the mistress was the excitement, the wanton sex and adrenalin push of romantic / sexual love?
In such a circumstance does one feel sorry for the wife or the mistress, or does one wonder what on earth she was doing after a married man? Best not to be judgemental with these things...

When a man (or woman for that matter) has an affair, it is usually because something is lacking within the marriage. Many times this is to do with sex. People seek the excitement of the new person, new ways, new body, new life, the secrecy even of the whole situation, acting as a potent aphrodisiac for the 'illicit' pair. It is no wonder then that once the marriage disolves these relationships very quickly loose their appeal; the person is no longer as exciting, the sex is not mind-blowing and life becomes dull again...